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Not looking to do damage in divorce

When you are walking an unfamiliar path, it can help to have a guide; someone who has taken the trail and made it home in one piece. That is part of the theme of a series of pieces titled "Been There" on National Public Radio's "All Things Considered": connecting people who are about to undergo an experience with those who have already been through it. The two people converse as the radio program's audience listens in.

A recent conversation was between two women; a 37-year-old mother of two who is divorcing talked with a woman who faced a similar set of circumstances last year. The mom facing divorce says she is not looking for a fight or to do damage to the man she married 11 years ago.

"There's this expectation that you want to hurt this other person, that you want to damage them and leave them forever, and I just don't think that, at least for me, is true," she said on NPR.

The woman who has already been through the legal and emotional processes said her advice is to "take it one day at a time" and "be gentle on yourself."

She said that she and her ex talked through differences. She said it helped her to know that after the divorce, she would need to be able to trust her ex and call on him to help out with the kids when she needed to work late.

They also decided to share parenting time, though she admits she "was terrified they were gonna have frozen pizza every night."

She said her ex-husband has "really stepped up" and that she has been "pleasantly surprised."

Not all divorces can be as amicable, unfortunately. In many cases, parents do best for their children and themselves by having a Nashville attorney experienced in not only negotiation, but litigation.

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